GruggBlog

From ToEE

What Happened as Grugg rose to Fame, Fortune and Mightiness!

1 Day One
2 Day Two
3 Day Three
4 Day Four
5 Day Five
6 Day Six
7 Day Seven

Day One

Grugg lay sleeping quietly, as a sneaky goblin crept up with a dagger. The goblin raised his arm, struck down swiftly. Squeaked as its puny arm was gripped by the mighty mitt of Grugg, halting the dagger in its plunge towards the great half-orc's throat. Croaked as its neck was snapped in two by a quick contraction of Grugg's mighty thews. Grugg woke up.

Ate goblin for breakfast. Hiked towards the town. Met some priest named "Vladimir", agreed to fight for his "good cause". Whatever. It could be a chance to smack down some evil things. Ate goblin for lunch. Hiked towards the town. Bumped into a half-orc with a nice, big sword. He pointed out a tasty goblin in the distance, but it was gone by the time Grugg got there. Better keep hiking. Ate goblin for dinner (its fresh green skin is spoiling and turning pink). Wrapped self in horse blanket and slept again.

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Day Two

Woke up. Finished off goblin. Arrived in town. Ate a garlic bulb to freshen Grugg's breath. Met people calling themselves "adventurers". One is a half-orc named Jetsam who has a very nice sword and enjoyed listening to tales of Grugg's might, another is that "Vladimir" from last day. Also a young pauper named Benjamin. They saw the value in recruiting mighty Grugg. Good adventurers. Grugg will adhere to their strange rules and help them fight evil things. Grugg will prove himself to be mighty.

Will not eat this tavern's food again - meat was so cooked it stopped bleeding. People must agree, as tavern empty except for Grugg, Jetsam, Vladimir and Benjamin.

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Day Three

Slept badly. In night, someone moved furniture around upstairs - kept Grugg awake. Grugg not in good mood. But join "adventurers" today - get chance to smack things soon! Prove Grugg's might!

Walk a bit. Found place with smoke and smell of goblin - maybe a barbecue? Nope, goblins long gone. Just some burned barn. Party agree to recover ring for Jarrod-farmer. Dark woman track goblins to caves. A metal gate dropped, separating party. Grugg and Jetsam (and a couple more) lift gate, but goblin threw rock and hit Grugg in back! Grugg angry. Grugg kill half of rock-slinging goblins. Help party be all together on "in" side of metal gate.

Walk through caves. Found a thin floor. Grugg threw dead goblin to see if floor thicker further. It wasn't. Two humans angry with Grugg. Then they dump two more goblin corpses through floor - not even throwing them to test where floor thin! Crazy humans. Found more goblins. Killed more goblins. Then party start ignoring wolf howls, turning backs on doors, and searching room! Crazy people. Grugg go to investigate howls, intercept wolves before they kill party from behind. Grugg kill wolf as party catch up. One wolf run away, one wolf sit and listen to Crikey-lady. Find scared goblin leaders. Party-leader say stop, so they surrender. Crazy humans who told off Grugg ignore party leader and attack - missing completely. Deaf humans. Then some goblins surrender. Killed goblins who not surrender. Found ring and cheap treasure. Crazy "Vladimir" broke crystal.

Walk back to hamlet of "Hommlet". Gave back ring for very large pouch of gold. Ate dinner (a haunch of goblin Grugg secretly cut off corpse in cave). Polished sword. Slept.

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Day Four

Slept in. Grugg ignore inn's human food - decide to find better food for brunch. Play some BARG! with Jetsam - that half-orc not quite as poncy as seem at first meeting. Jetsam looked astonished that Grugg could be fluent in his own native tongue! Amused self for a brief period with a facile romp through Grugg's extensive Orcish vocabulary, utilising an eclectic selection of terms culled from Grugg's encyclopaedic lexicon. Grugg might have led Jetsam to believe Grugg is smarter than Grugg really is. Oops.

See calendar on inn wall - day is "March 2". Crazy human calendar - day really 8th of Ashtar, in the Year of the Bloodied Fist, 91st cycle of the COE (Certified Orcish Era). Party meet - split loot from weak goblins. Put some loot with garlic in pouch, rest hidden. Grugg think Jetsam like elf-girl, as he always avoid look at her, and when she spoke him he embarrass so he walk out.

Scout-girl tell Grugg goblin outside. Grugg run to protect hamlet, but saw no goblin. Maybe scout-girl have too much crazy human blood. Walk through Hommlet. Not much here, but more than on open plains back home. Found shop, bought boots. Jetsam there, he pat filthy dogs. Why play with food? Jetsam too much like crazy humans, Grugg sometimes think.

Found forest area near hamlet. Shot birds, practise with bow. Ate birds. Good brunch. Set up war course with trees, rope and iron spikes. Spent hours in practise with long sword. Maintain Grugg's mighty skills. Work until nightfall. Take down war course. Hungry, so draw bow and hunt for dinner - heat-sight good to find food with.

Hunt take Grugg to forest grove. Meet man with staff. Man speak good Orcish, and share tasty food - how can nuts and fungus taste like meat? Grugg like man. Grugg think to spend night in grove, but remember must feed birds. Grugg say bye to man and run to town. In inn, in Grugg room - bird cage open and birds gone! Grugg not happy. Grugg look at room again. Person open bird cage door, person not open window. Birds sit on Grugg's pillow. Grugg put back in cage, give grain. Will buy lock for cage. Slept.

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Day Five

Woke up. Is dawn. Grugg walk downstairs, remember birds, walk upstairs, take cage, walk downstairs. See Jetsam in coachyard, reaching up, down, and moving around. No weapon. Very strange. No-weapon-girl also exercise in coachyard. Maybe girl teach Jetsam? Today inn have sausages as morning-food. Inn-man agree to give Grugg sausages not cook - a bit slimy, but hunt take too long.

Walk to shop to buy cage-lock, shop not open yet. Walk through Hommlet while wait for shop open. See store for money, human church, and man who shapes metal. Shop finally open, humans have no cage-locks! Big one says will order one, if can. Grugg walk to forest.

Grugg find still pool. Like mirror. Grugg remove false teeth - look at nice, even, real teeth in pool. No-one trust half-orc with good teeth, so Grugg put false, rot-look teeth back in mouth. Grugg set up war course like last day. Grugg practise hard with long sword. Grugg not mighty without lots of work. Song-birds watch Grugg train. Fox watch song-birds. Grugg watch fox. Fox watch Grugg watch fox watch song-birds watch Grugg watch fox. Fox get confused and go. Grugg unstring bow and train with long sword again.

Grugg miss lunch. Grugg go back to inn for dinner - so hungry that Grugg might give human food one more chance. Explain to inn-man food Grugg wants, inn-man tells Grugg to order "very, very rare steak with no greens". Grugg order like inn-man tells. Food not too bad. Other party people in inn, and more, non-party people, too. People complain of "bandits" and "brigands". Grugg not know these words. Jetsam explain in Orcish. Grugg think "brigands" and "bandits" might be evil things, Grugg can smack down! Prove Grugg mighty! Grugg ask more.

People talk strange to Grugg. Not meet Grugg's eyes, speak slowly. Good to hear slow Common, not good when people not answer deep enough. Kobort talk to Grugg, look mighty but lose arm-wrestle. Turuko not look mighty but win arm-wrestle. Grugg not understand how. Grugg drink. Grugg look around - song-bird cage was on table (and closed) before arm-wrestles, now on floor (and open). Birds not in cage. Grugg not happy. Grugg search busy room for birds. Grugg see man in dress say something to no-one, wave hands, clap, and after small flash of light hold lilac grain. Song-birds go to man, eat lilac grain. Grugg go to man, hold out cage. Explain birds escape. Man look down nose at Grugg, but put birds back in cage. Grugg thank. Man name "Spugnois". Humans have crazy names. Grugg buy Spugnois ale.

Grugg take birds upstairs. Grugg wish for radio tracking tags, realise Grugg character in wrong game. Slept.

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